​Food cravings can be tricky, because w​hen they're happening, it can feel like nothing​ else but that certain food will satisfy you; ​you must have it right now or else!! The ​important thing to know is that our cravings have meaning and they are critical to understand when it comes to overcoming emotional eating or binge eating.  

​The real truth is, certain foods we crave show where we ​may be needing more attention in areas of our life that may be lacking, like self-care, self-compassion and self-respect.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, but it's true. Yes, food does change our physiology, and it can feel addictive, especially after a binge, but when you are having cravings, most of the time they are ​linked to emotions.

​Food​ tends to be an easy solution in the moment. It changes our state quickly and there is a sense of instant gratification or comfort. Most of us will go for that feeling rather than truly facing what is really going on underneath the surface or addressing the challenge at hand.

It can feel overwhelming to address our emotional imbalances, so we head to the cookie jar, but that only lasts for a short while. There is no escaping it.

Emotional stress is a huge factor in most of today's disease in the body and mind. We are taught to deal with things, suck it up and move forward instead of slowing down to truly understand why we feel "off," stuck, isolated, ashamed or disconnected.

​My 30+ years long struggle with emotional eating was ​linked to not only yo-yo dieting, but also my feelings of self-hatred, which all started when I was a young girl.

Growing up in an abusive household without safety and security, led me to believe that I was unlovable and that no one cared. This resulted in me feeling alone, isolated and not good enough.

Food (and sugar) literally became my friend. It was safe. It was the ONLY ​thing, in the moment, that made me feel better. But t​he feeling was fleeing and was no replacement for what I really needed. I​ was stuck in a vicious cycle.

I had to start to understand and decode my cravings, and know that I needed to give my emotional life some space and attention. Once I did that, I started to feel a sense of freedom I had never experienced before, and food started lose it's power over me.

​To start to understand/overcome your cravings and what they mean, ​follow these steps to support yourself: 

​​We all know that a binge can send us off into a spiral of shame, self-criticism and defeat. Binge Eating is often a result of dieting, restriction or depriving yourself of certain foods, over a period of time, especially the ones you love. Having food rules, and judgements around food can also lead us to a binge. 

And binge eating ​can often have nothing to do with food, and everything to do with ​an event or trigger in ​your life that you may not be facing; a pain ​you haven't addressed, or situation ​you don't feel good about. 

One of my clients shared with me that ​prior to our working together, she had gone to the doctor to get a check up. She got on the scale, and he told her she needed to lose over 50 pounds. She also learned that she had high-blood pressure and was pre-diabetic. All of this "bad" news coming at once, and the idea of going on yet another diet, sent her in an emotional tail spin. That night she went home and binged for 3 days straight.

Unfortunately, the dieting mindset is ingrained in most of us. We believe that it's impossible to lose weight without massively restricting ourselves, ​and this can leave a lot of us feeling defeated and wanting to give up. If you ​are someone who has been a long-time dieter, or you have events in your life that you don't want to face, I'm sure you've had a binge episode or two. Bingeing doesn't mean you have failed, it just means that there is a deeper message needing to be revealed.  

Below are​ my top steps on how to overcome the shame after a binge ​so you can move forward with grace.

After a binge, it's important to tune into what ​nourishing and loving actions ​you can take to support yourself. As I mentioned above, you want to do things that are in service to your well-being, and by slowing down to tune into this, you are showing up for yourself in a powerful way.  This will help to connect to what you really need.

So, take a moment and ask yourself, What is the most loving and nourishing action I can take right now?

Maybe you feel lonely and need to call a friend. Maybe you are stressed out and need down time. Maybe you are angry that your boss was mean to you. Maybe your kids are driving you nuts. It's important that you ask yourself what it is that you need before you set any rules, restrictions or guidelines around food.

Once you attune to what it is that you REALLY need, instead of what you think you need (rules, diets and restriction),  then you can take action to give ​that to yourself and truly take a stand for your own healing.

​Typically, along with a binge comes all kinds of self-loathing, judgement and self-criticism. We feel ashamed, remorseful and overwhelmed with feelings of failure. These things perpetuate the bad-feelings and the binge cycle.

It's important to be the Warrior Guardian of your Mind in this circumstance, and to cut every negative thought about yourself off at the knees. You can do that by the powerful practice of redirecting your mind to self-forgiveness. 

Could you imagine reprimanding a small child for binge eating or eating more than they should? Could you imagine saying all the mean things you say to yourself, to a friend? You probably wouldn't have many friends left.

​Every time you think a negative thought, ​say the following out loud:

​1. Stop (this helps pattern-interrupt the thought)  

2. I forgive myself for judging myself as a failure (or insert whatever other negative words you say about yourself).

Continue to repeat #2 with all the negative judgements you made about yourself after the binge. You can even write them out on paper to make it even more powerful. T​his step helps you get in touch with your own compassion. 

Integrate these loving actions after a binge and see if you can get to the root of what your binge is telling you. There is always a message in our triggers and struggles. 

​​​Weight loss can be a life-long challenge for many people. It's hard to know what to do when there are so many diets out there making promises that just don't deliver.

​When I was yo-yo dieting (most of my life) and trying to lose weight, I constantly felt like a failure. It wasn't until I discovered ​the ONE major barrier that was preventing me from losing weight and keeping it o​ff that everything completely changed for me....My Inner Critic, aka., Inner Meanie.

Yep...you read that right.

​We all have an ​"inner meanie." You know, the one that tells you "you're not enough", "that you ruined your diet, so what's the point," or says "you don't deserve to be happy," or tells you regularly that "you're ugly and fat," or "that you will never get it together or be successful at weightloss." Where do these voices come from?

​One thing I know for sure; ​we all come into this world as a pure bundle of love. We are all innately deserving and worthy of a life of joy, abundance, happiness and love. But things happen; painful things...we believe what little Johnny down the street says about us, or if one of our parents tells us to be seen and not heard, and we start to put on armor...

One of my clients recently shared with me that when she was 7 she climbed a tree, and the boy below her looked up and shouted out that she had fat legs. From that point on, that little girl believed her body was ugly and fat. And as you can imagine, she struggled with yo-yo dieting, binge eating and weight loss her WHOLE life...no surprise there.

For most of us, our inner critic starts when we are young. Mine ​started around the age of 12 when my body ​began to chang​e. There were a lot of things modeled to me in my household that made me believe I needed to have a perfect body to be valued and loved. My family life ​also ​felt of control a lot and so I started to control my food as a way to feel safe.

​As I got older, my inner critic became meaner and meaner. I literally hated my body and was full of self-loathing. This is how all the food craziness and yo-yo dieting started. Over time I put on roughly 30 pounds, and hated myself even more. I was emotional eating, overeating and binge eating regularly, which fed my inner-mean girl.  My body was a result of all the mean, horrible things I said about myself, and all the choices I had made.

It wasn't until I started to look deeper and work with my coach, that I truly ​began to understand that my inner-​meanie was actually the biggest barrier to my weight loss.

Think about it...why would my body (or anyone's body, for that matter) want to release weight, and be healthy if all​ ​I was doing was beating it up, pinc​hing it, calli​ng it ugly and scoffing at it in the mirror??? And then, I would feed it bad food to make matters even worse. 

As my friend, Christie Miller says, "The stories you tell yourself about your body create your current results. The more you say negative things, the deeper the stories get buried in our cells and psyche. These stories, negative thoughts and limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck in a body you hate, at a weight you despise and from actually living a life you really want."

If you want to feel better about yourself, and lose weight, and be happy then you must change ​the stories you tell yourself, including the nasty, comments loaded with self-loathing and self-hate.

​​​Start by becoming aware

​​Take some time to notice ​the things you say to yourself.

What is the constant dialogue running in your head. Are you extremely hard on yourself? Is nothing ever enough? Do you constantly feel rejected and unworthy? What stories are you telling yourself about your journey with weight loss? What do you say about your body regularly?

​Self-criticism tends to become habitual over time. We sadly get used to saying and hearing the negative internal commentary. The way to start to shift it is to first become aware of it.

Track your thoughts for a few days and see what you notice. Write them down.

​​re-frame those ​Inner Meanie Comments

As humans we are wired to be negative, it's part of our survival mechanism, but you can change this. ​Every time you hear yourself say something mean, turn it around right then and there. ​ Tell yourself ​beautiful, loving things that will help you lose weight and live a life you love. You won't believe it at first, but that's ok...keep going anyway.

​This will take practice and mindfulness, but you can do it. You CAN change your thoughts about yourself over time. I am a shining example of that. 

Remember, you must take responsibility for y​our own growth and transformation. No one else will do it for you and it all starts with your mindset and shifting the things you tell yourself.  

Would you EVER say the mean things you say to yourself to your child or best friend? Absolutely not. So why do you say them to yourself??? 

​​Step one: ​discover Your Food history

​Knowing your food history is a big component in healing your issues with food and yo-yo dieting. If you are someone who has been struggling with weight issues ​since you were a child, or found yourself using food for comfort, then it's important to look back and understand why.

Many of us take in the information that is being modeled to us from our parents and turn them into our truths. We also take in information we hear from other people, especially our peers. One of my coaching clients shared with me that when she was 7, she climbed a tree, and the boy down below told her that her legs were fat. 

From that day forward, at a very young age, she ​formed the belief that something was wrong with her, and so she started to turn to food for comfort. There are millions of instances like this that happen when we are young.

I was constantly made fun of for being flat-chested and having a big butt. These things stuck with me and started my crazy, obsessive 30+ year journey with food and skewed body image.

So, in order to truly understand why you struggle so much, it's important that you take some time to discover your Food History, which is where your beliefs about food, and even your weight started. ​

​ACTION: With a journal, sit down for 30 minutes and write out ​all the messages you got about food and your body from a very young age, through where you currently are with food. Include what you saw your parents do or say around food and their weight. Did they diet a lot? Did your mom say she was fat? Or was always trying to lose those last 10-15 pounds? Put it ALL on paper! This is a very eye-opening and cathartic process, so allow yourself the full 30 minutes.

​step two: ​Identify your food rules

We all have rules around food. Sadly, that's a by-product of Diet Mindset. We hear ​"experts" sharing their two cents on what is good and bad, or what we should or shouldn't eat based on the current diet trends.

​The problem with ​that is we are all so different as human beings. No one way of eating could ever work for every person. This is where the diet and health industry is extremely flawed. 

Look, I've been a vegan/vegetarian most of my life because that is what works for me. It changed my life and helped me heal from many childhood illnesses, but that doesn't mean everyone should eat that way. It also doens't mean that I will be that forever. What I have learned is that I need to be flexible based on what my body needs.

​The things we hear about food are detrimental to our physical, mental and emotional health. Food is what we need to survive, and with all the emphasis we put on how to eat, takes away the sheer pleasure of eating. I know that many of us ​understand on a basic level what foods are nourishing and what foods aren't, yet we are still confused. ​Your body is actually the one source that will tell all, if you really listen. 

​ACTION: For the next two days, I want you to notice all the things you say about food to yourself or others. What are your inner thoughts about food when you go to eat it? Do you label foods good or bad? Healthy or unhealthy? How do you feel about what you are eating? Do you feel bad if you eat a donut? Do you berate yourself for going off your diet? Do you tell yourself, "What's the point?" if you mess up? 

Take time to write down all these thoughts either in a journal or your phone. After two days, see if you notice any themes. Also take note of ​how you feel about this process. This will give you great insight in to just how much you think about food and feel bad about choices you make.

​​The holidays are a time where many of us get caught up in a whirlwind of overwhelm and stress. Our to-do lists double and even triple, with the addition of holiday parties, decorating, shopping and cooking.

It's easy to get sucked into the eye of the storm and not see a way out until January 2nd hits. By this time, it's almost too late and burnout has set in. But this doesn't have to be the case for you this holiday season. You do have a choice.

You ​CAN ​thrive through the holiday season in a peaceful and balanced way, so when the New Year comes you​ feel ready to move forward in an empowered way, instead of feeling like you have to start at square one and fix all the damage you did.

Below are my Top ​3 ​Actions to Help You Avoid Burnout this Holiday Season: 

​ACTION ​1: HOW To ​Avoid ​​Burnout this HOliday Season

​Choose Wisely

​​​It's no secret that this time of year can be filled with obligations and family traditions that often feel overwhelming. During my annual 7-Day Balanced and Blissed Holiday Challenge, I challenge ​hundreds of participants with the action of choosing things that feel aligned with them, versus participating out of obligation​.

This very action includes being able to say No, which can be hard for a lot of people. In order to not burn yourself out this holiday season and avoid the overwhelm that often comes along with it, I encourage you to choose your experiences and to-do's wisely.

Here's how to do that:

Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Write the heading, "To-DO" on one side, and the heading "Events" on the other. Write out everything you feel like you have to do under the "To-Do" Heading (ie: getting a tree, baking cookies, decorating, buying gifts for everyone at the office, ​even long time traditions), and then write out all the events you need to attend including kids (if you have them) plays, holiday parties and bake sales under ​the "Events" heading. 

Once you ​complete your list, go down each column and circle anything that IS a priority or feels GOOD for you to do. Then go through the list again and X out anything that feels heavy or like an obligation. Note: This process won't be easy, especially if you are a people pleaser or someone who is afraid of being judged for not participating. You will also have to learn to let go a bit and really tune in to the things you WANT to do (see below).  

Once you complete the X + O process, go through the circled items, or any items that you are questioning on the list and ask yourself the following questions: 

How is this bringing balance to my life?
How is this bringing bliss and joy to my life?
Will this bring balance to my life if I do it, or will I feel resentful?
Is this something I feel obligated to do? If so, can I shift it to feel balanced instead? ​

If the item feels obligatory, overwhelming etc, cross it off your list and LET GO! You will be OK, I promise. Often we will do things out of obligation or fear of what others will think of us if we don't bake cookies for that bake sale, or show up to that party.

​Once you have gone through this process you will feel much clearer. Complete it by writing the remaining items in your calendar. Block out one hour windows of time to complete tasks such as shopping, baking or wrapping gifts. This will help you manage your time better.​

​​ACTION ​​2: How to ​avoid ​​burnout this holiday season

​Implement the 10 + 10

​​This practice will be one of the most powerful ​actions you take ​for yourself this holiday season. Life coach and personal growth guru, Tony Robbins says, "If you don't have 10 minutes to give yourself, you don't have a life...." This is so true and one of the main reasons why people feel stressed out and overwhelmed.

By starting your day with what I call the 10+10, you will set yourself up to feel grounded, balanced and connected this holiday season instead of harried, frazzled and buried under your to-do list.

The 10 + 10 consists of 10 minutes of movement and 10 minutes of "me" time first thing in the morning. ​Of course, both of these ​activities can be longer, especially if you like to do your workouts in the morning, but start with a minimum of 10 minutes for each.

​Most importantly though, is the 10 minutes of "me" time where you either meditate (I love using the Insight Timer App), breathe, read something uplifting​ excerpts from a book (here is my favorite,) connect to your own heart, journal ​by ​dumping whatever is on your mind on the page, or set intentions for the day.

This action is life-changing and will set you up to have a more empowering and connected day so that you don't' feel as overwhelmed by all you have to do.

Also, studies show that ​ people who have consistent morning routines are more successful than people who don't. Instead of hitting the snooze button 3 or 4 times, get up out of bed and give yourself the time you deserve. 

​​Action ​​3: How to ​avoid ​burnout this holiday season

​​P​ractice Presence 

​​Many of us are living in the future or the past. This causes anxiety and overwhelm.

​You are ONLY one person, who can only do so much. The more you keep thinking about ALL the things you have to do, versus staying present and doing the next "right" action, the more ​stressed out you will feel.

​Practicing presence is one of the most impactful and balancing things you can do for yoursel​f this holiday season. I know ​it doesn't come easy for most, myself included, but you can access it with a little bit of awareness and pause.

Every time you catch yourself feeling anxious or overwhelmed, STOP and take a deep breath. Seriously. It's incredible how quickly it works. Know that these feelings come from you not being present. Then take another.

Once you take 2-3 deep breaths, ​then ask yourself if you are living in the future and worrying, or are ​you focusing on the task at hand and what's in front of you?

By taking this pause, you will get reconnected to the present moment and then you can make a discerned choice ​ about what needs to be done next.

Again, you are ONLY one person, and can only do so much. DELEGATE if you need to. Ask for help and don't think you need to be Superwoman or Superman. 

By following these 3 empowering actions this holiday season, I guarantee you will feel so much more balanced and peaceful by the time the New Year arrives. And if you are concerned about weight gain this holiday season, ​check out my recent blog about How You Can Avoid Holiday Weight Gain.

​​Long term dieting, counting calories, restricting and depriving yourself of your favorite foods can lead to one thing: Food Obsession. Being on a diet creates a constant stream of thoughts about food; what you can't have, what you can have, how much you can have, how many calories, and so on. It's exhausting....

And ​included in those obsessive thoughts, are ​are all the ​judgements and food rules that you have been taught along the way. We try to eat perfectly, and stay away from the "bad" and "forbidden" foods that we feel out of control around. When we are "on track," we feel good, but we have to fight to stay there...it's not consistent and then the dreaded pendulum swing happens.

Learning to love your food and enjoy/savor it versus obsessing about it, will be the key to shifting your relationship to it. It will also free up a whole lot of brain space in your head, and the energy you spend thinking about food all the time.  And when I say "loving your food," I don't mean the out of control feeling you have when you're around it, or that you can't stop eating it. That's not what truly loving and being connect to your food is. The obsessive, out of control feeling is how you are ​​giving ​your power away to it. It ends up controlling you.

When I was dieting, binge eating and struggling with food obsession, I was afraid to eat and I ​there was a constant, running total in my head of the calories I consumed. I then based how I felt about myself that day as a result of the calories I ate, or didn't eat and if I was "good" or "bad" with my eating. Or the weight I lost, or didn't lose. It was such a vicious cycle. 

​Over the years of coaching hundreds of ​clients and supporting them in truly shifting the way they approach food, I have ​witnessed ​incredible ​courage and powerful transformation happen. And what my clients come to realize, is that their struggles with food have nothing to do with the food! The food is just the symptom of something deeper.

​The diet industry is notorious for ​instilling food rules. And we all know the diet industry does not provide long-term solution. Look, I know it can feel scary to let go of food rules, because we feel as though we might get out of control without them. But having food rules keeps you stuck in deprivation and also creates bad feelings ​every time you eat something you think is "bad." Another important thing that having food rules prevents​ is a connection to, and trust of, our bodies.

​By identifying all the rules you have around food, you can then start to shift your mindset so you experience some more freedom and a loosening of the grip on food obsession. This journey is all about being able to trust yourself and your body to make choices that will serve you. I used to have a hard rule about not eating past 8pm. Or that eating pastry and candy was bad. And guess what? I'd end up bingeing on both of those things and doing it in the middle of the night. SO much for those rules.

The moment we put rules on food, our brain goes into survival mode. Especially when we deprive ourselves of the things we love.  And guess what? Then we want those foods even more. ​

When I finally let go of my food rules, I realized that I didn't even really want cupcakes or candy anymore. So, now if I want sweets, I choose to have ​them sweets in a form that feels good to me and my body. I take the time to truly savor them without judgment, and I give myself FULL permission. 

• Take out a piece of paper, and write down ​the top 3 food rules you have that you can think of.
  
• Choose ​the one out of those 3 that feels like it would be the easiest to break; focus on that one for the next few days. For example; if you have a rule about ​​a cheat ​meal on weekends, allow yourself to have ​those foods more regurlarly during the week so you don't feel deprived and go overboard.
  
• Notice what happens when you start to allow yourself permission to eat these foods and let yourself ENJOY and SAVOR them. Do your best to take away the judgment. It might feel hard at first, but you can do it. 
• Every time your mind wanders to the rule, and you go into judgement, bring it back to the present moment and focus on what you are doing. Tell yourself it's OK!!! Because really, it truly is OK!
  

​You will need to dismantle​ your rules one by one in order to keep your ego from freaking out! The ego doesn't like change and notices immediately when you're taking a different action. Like I said, pick one that doesn't feel so big, but would feel freeing if you let it go. Over time you will build the trust and confidence in yourself and you will not need to have food rules ever again

​Most of us have been on a diet at one time or another. There is one thing I know about dieting; it keeps the obsessive food thoughts VERY alive. And it also is the creator of all the food rules we tend to live by, as mentioned above.

If you truly want to begin to loosen the reins on your food obsession, you must be willing to give up dieting. Over 90% of people who lose weight on a diet, gain it back (and then some.) This vicious cycle is exhausting and keeps us stuck in survival mode, and self-loathing. When we are dieting, we are in survival mode, and our mind will latch on to anything it can to create safety for us. This means obsessing about the food that we are depriving ourselves of.

I'm sure you've had the experience time and again of telling yourself you will start over on Monday, or "be good" for the rest of the day, or never eat sugar again; and what happens? You quickly fall off track or overeat those foods you swore off just hours earlier. The natural order of things will always create a pendulum swing, so when you are constantly obsessing over food, and restricting yourself, there will be a swing to the other side to balance things out.

The first step is to start to pay attention to your dieting mindset. Identifying your food rules will definitely help with this. Notice all the times you think about food, and all the negative talk you have around it. Awareness is the first step in giving up the dieting mindset. The more you put these new strategies into practice, the more you will begin to trust yourself.

​Yep, that's what I said. With social media and the internet, there is a constant barrage of information coming at us all the time that can be confusing, and feel overwhelming. The other day a client of mine emailed me to say how confused she was after hearing two different experts talk about the best diet for curing Type-2 diabetes. 

One of them said a high carb, low fat diet was the best way of eating, and the other one said a low carb, high fat diet is the answer. Who is right?? ​This is why we are all so dang confused, and feel like we will never figure it out. We search for answers all over the internet ​but never check in with our​ most important source of wisdom, our bodies!

​I do believe that most of us understand the basic rule of thumb when it comes to healthy eating, but then why do so many of us struggle to figure out how to eat? Because we are listening to everyone outside of us, versus our own body. By getting off all nutrition, diet and health lists, you can start to learn to rely on yourself and your body to give you the information you need. And trust me, it will.

When I stopped looking for answers outside of myself, and started to attune to and listen to my body's own wisdom, it changed my world. My body knows exactly what it likes, and what it doesn't like. But so many of us will override these signals our body is giving us, or the things we are craving to follow some diet because it worked for your neighbor's-daughters-boyfriends- sister. NO!

Start by unsubscribing from all those email lists you are on. The ones that confuse you, or leave you feeling like you still don't know what the answer is, or how you should be eating. Look, when it comes to nutrition, there​ really isn't that much new information out there​. And most of the time people are looking for the next quick fix, or that THING that will finally make them lose weight. But none of those things will be the answer, or work for the long term. But building trust with your body, and shifting your behaviors and mindset around food WILL!.

Continue to practice taking different action when it comes to your relationship to food. By doing that, you will begin to create new neural pathways, that will eventually become brand, new healthier habits down the road. Remember, this is not a quick fix solution, and takes consistency, and patience. You have to be more committed to your freedom, then getting sucked into another external diet or program that will only lead you back to the same place.

YOU GOT THIS!