May 28, 2021

Ep. 10: Reclaiming Your Dreams + The Lost Parts of Yourself with Aftan


If you’re a woman, then my guess is you know a little something about taking care of others and putting everything and everyone else first. And, you may even feel a sense of guilt when it comes to taking care of yourself. Or taking time to do things you love. If so, you are going to love this episode.

Aftan called in today because she has been neglecting a very big part of who she is for many years to raise her two daughters. Slowly over time she let go of pieces of herself and her dreams, and has gotten caught up in always giving to others without giving herself the same attention.

Now that her daughters are grown and out of the house, she wants to reconnect with her artistic spirit and the dreams that she had left behind; one of them being to FINALLY write a screenplay that she has been thinking about for years.

Aftan’s obstacle to this goal is that she has pushed herself to the point of burnout by taking care of everyone else in her life, and she needs to relearn how to take care of her own needs and get reconnected to her passions; in essence to reclaim the lost parts of herself.

During the episode we  uncover the fact that she feels unsupported by her peers in her small Idaho town. We dive deeper into this lack of support, and learn that it actually stems back much further than she realized…and that she took on the role of caregiver out of lack of feeling worthy in the world. 

This led to being in many different relationships with people who had what she deems, “broken wings.” It’s an a-ha moment for her when we discover how her over-giving is just a way she avoids herself and her own desires. Her taking care of others is her compensatory strategy to feel loved and get attention, but it has left her feeling empty and alone.

If you have let a large part of who you are fall by the wayside, and have let some of your dreams go because you feel guilty indulging in your own passions or self interest, today’s conversation will be extremely insightful and inspirational.

This episode offers powerful strategies and tools to create the support you need so you can take care of yourself and COME HOME to what really matters to you without guilt, or fear of being selfish.

Whether you are a people pleaser, over-giver, you lack setting boundaries or fear the judgement of others, I know this episode will help you see life, and yourself through a different perspective. In essence it will help you to reclaim the power, and your dreams that you let go of a long time ago.


If you are suffering from burnout and Human Giver Syndrome, check out this book by Dr. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

Find the book Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler here.
Check out Christine's incredible podcast, Over It & On With It at her website

If you want some free coaching, be a guest on my show and let’s work it out together and help you Come Home to what truly matters; book a session here.

Come join my FREE Facebook Group, Reclaim Your Wild: A Radical Self-Care + Self-Discovery Group for WomenFind me on Instagram: @melcostellocoachWebsite:

Melissa Costello

Author, Speaker, Culinary Plant-Based Nutrition & Health Empowerment Coach | Cleanse Expert

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