​Binge eating is a mystery to many of us, and it's hard to understand why we actually do it. What is it that drives us to overeat and binge on food until we feel sick, ashamed and at the end of our rope?

​One of my current clients who has struggled with binge eating most of her life, never understood ​why she couldn't heal even though she sought help from multiple therapist​s, nutritionists and organizations. ​During her binges, she ​would feel completely out of control and like she couldn't stop. She would binge ​all day long, not just at night, or in mini-sessions. She would ​overeat in massive quantities, all the foods that have been on her forbidden list for years, like bread, tortillas, chips, etc.

These foods were not allowable in her eyes, and they were "evil," because ultimately they would lead to weight gain, ill-health or she had heard from some "expert" along the way, that these foods were "BAD," and she needed to cut them out of her life.

As we dug deeper into her eating patterns and this out of control feeling with food, I would often ask her, "What's beneath the binge?" In other words, what's driving your binge eating? And it was always difficult for her to answer, but she knew that was where the real healing would happen.

This question, for many of my clients, often stops them in their tracks, and leaves them speechless, and it did with her too. ​She is the reason why I am writing this blog, because she suggested​ it so I can help others who struggle in this area too.

​The question is something ​most people never consider, or think of. They've always blamed the food, or their bodies or chalked it up to addiction, and never​ took into account that it ​could be something outside of the food that was responsible for the binge​s.

​Food, it turns out, is usually the symptom of something deeper that we are not addressing. ​I know this can be a hard pill to swallow for many, because isn't it easier to blame the food for our issues? ​Well, maybe, but that won't solve anything or help you understand WHY you are bingeing and what is driving it. It also will do nothing to help you shift your relationship to food and heal​.

​Binge eating is often a by-product of restriction and dieting. It can also be ​linked to other areas in your life such as relationships, money, career, sexuality and more. ​Often times when we are not living our authentic truth, food can be an escape to that. It's a way to fill a void, if you will. ​When I was bingeing regularly, it was due to feelings of loneliness, being unsafe in the world, and uncertainty. 

Being raised in a violent household created tons of uncertainty and ​feelings of being out of control. Food became my safe haven. The place I could go to get comfort in any given moment, and feel like I had control over something, even though I ended up feeling worse afterward. It was a vicious cycle for years but I didn't know how to change it.

When I ​started to ​get curious about what was underneath my binge eating, ​​I started to heal and shift my relationship to myself, which led to shifting my relationship with food. ​It's not an easy road, but it's one that​ is worth traveling because ultimately it leads to freedom. Awareness will always be the first step in healing, and then comes the action.

Below ​I am sharing a few of the powerful actions I took to bring awareness to my binge eating and ultimately heal it. 

Get Curious and Lean In...

The first step to getting to the core of your eating issues is to be curious about them and bring awareness to the patterns. It's common to immediately go into judging ourselves and feeling guilty about what we ate, or the binge we had. Studies have been shown that as humans, we are wired for negativity and it's easy to spiral down into a well of negative thoughts. Judging yourself will never help anything and it will continue to ingrain the pattern even further.

When you get strong cravings or find yourself obsessing about food, take the time to pause, take a breath and then check in with yourself. Once you pause, you can ask the following questions to bring awareness to your patterns:

What am I really craving right now? What is that I am looking for food to give me other than nourishment? What am I avoiding? Why do I want to binge? What would a binge solve in this moment? 

Start here and see what comes up. You might want to spend a few minutes writing it out and just dumping these thoughts on paper to interrupt the pattern. Remember, awareness is the first step.

​Let Go of Dieting and Restriction + Attune to the Body

​Dieting is the number one culprit to binge eating AND emotional eating. Any time ​you restrict yourself, there will be a pendulum swing to the other side, guaranteed. I ​know ​we are taught that in order to lose weight, we must diet, but what that does is keeps us stuck in the dieting mindset, which will keep us in a food prison.

I understand that the idea of letting go of dieting can bring about feelings of being out of control, but what it also does is sends the message to our body that we don't trust it. Your body has it's own innate wisdom, and wants to be balanced and healthy. Unfortunately, our society doesn't support that and it's almost the cultural norm to be on a diet these days.

I believe that whatever we control, ends up controlling us. Control is an illusion, pure and simple. One thing to always remember is that you have a CHOICE. When you can start to let go of dieting, and remember that you have a choice, then you will begin to heal even further.  

There is no ONE perfect diet for anyone, and that mindset will keep you spiraling. Constantly searching for​ the perfect way of eating will keep you on edge, and in continued obsessive food thoughts.

Instead start to tune in to your body to see what feels good for it. After you eat, notice any physical sensations you have, or emotional reactions. Make a note of these, as they will start to give you information on why you struggle and binge.

​In my Food Freedom LIVE Group Program, we ​use a tool called Food/Mood Tracking where the participants will write down what they eat and how they felt before and after they ate. They will even tune in to see if there was a trigger present for their eating like stress, feeling tired, sadness, etc. This is a powerful process that attunes them to their body and emotions. The key is to track the food without judgement and to use it as a tool to uncover your patterns. Give it a try and see what you notice.

​Get Honest and Show Your True Self

One ​thing I learned about myself in ​the journey of healing my binge eating was that I wore many masks. I was constantly hiding who I was, worrying about what others thought of me and trying to please everyone. This resulted in major feelings of resentment, loneliness and NEVER feeling good enough. Which ultimately led me to a box of licorice and bag of oreos. 

​I wanted people to see me in a certain light, and to think that I had it all together when in truth I was struggling inside. I look back on photos of myself when I was deep in my food struggles and ​I have a big old fake smile on my face. But no one knew it was fake, I was pretending everything was A-OK but the truth was, I was in a world of pain and battling internally with myself, my body and food on a daily.

​When I started to get real, to say what I felt, and to stop worrying about what others thought of me, my food issues started to wane. The pull toward food became less powerful and I started to feel more empowered and aligned in my life.

Showing ourselves to the world can be scary, because we are taught that vulnerability is weak.  ​But what I have learned through my journey, is that vulnerability is strength. Being vulnerable, speaking my truth and standing in my power ​has resulted in so much richness in my life. I have zero desire to hide anymore, and because of that, I no longer find myself wanting to binge, mindlessly eat or numb out with food.

​Start small, and share with people you trust that are in your inner circle. Get honest about your struggles, and let people know you need their support. I guarantee a HUGE weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

Binge eating is something many Americans are faced with daily, and the feelings of shame, disappointment and self-criticism can be overwhelming. By implementing these 3 keys, you will be taking steps toward your deeper healing, and getting to the core of what is beneath your binge. The key is to practice patience and be consistent with taking action in the moment to break old patterns. 

​​These are just a few strategies to build a normal way of eating. ​If you start to put these into practice on a daily basis, you will notice small shifts in how you relate to food. 

​To learn more on how to become a normal eater, check out the video below to hear my story around normal eating, and the person who modeled it for me in my life.

​Overeating is something most of us have done at one time in our lives or another. It happens more often than not, especially this time of year with the holidays looming around the corner. How many times have you stuffed yourself full to the brim on Thanksgiving or ate more cookies, cake or pumpkin pie than you needed to?​​ I know I have. 

One year I ate a whole pound of black jelly beans on Christmas eve. A whole pound. Needless to say, I was up vomiting all night long from sugar poisoning. My system couldn't handle it. 

Unfortunately, holidays are not the only time people overeat. It can happen any time, and for most people it happens in the evenings during the time of transition from dinner to nighttime, when things start to wind down.

​​It can be easy to ​ingest more than a third of ​our daily calories just in the evening, and I'm talking AFTER ​dinner has already been eaten. Overeating happens very often when people sit in front of the TV and eat mindlessly. It also happens when we feel bored or {insert emotion we don't want to feel} and need to numb out.

Overeating is only a symptom of a deeper issue. When ​you start to look at WHY you overeat, you will be able to gain insight and understand your motives.

In my coaching practice, I work with all kinds of busy professionals who overeat on a regular. Evenings and weekends tend to be the most difficult times, or at parties or social gatherings. Food seems to be something that brings comfort in uncomfortable situations, or relieves boredom and bad feelings. But this often leads to a too-full-tummy and ​emotions of regret, guilt, shame...and TONS of judgement.

​Wanting to stop overeating is not as simple as making up your mind to do so. As I mentioned earlier, the overeating is merely a symptom of something deeper happening. When I was overeating, it was due to loneliness and ​hating the way I felt in my body. You would think that would stop me from eating, but as soon as I thought about restricting myself, I'd want to, and often would, eat more. It's a vicious cycle. 

​Getting curious about why and when you overeat will be one of the biggest steps you can take in this journey. Like I mentioned above, there are many reason why we overeat and it usually has ZERO to do with the food. When you find yourself in a situation where you are overeating, start to ask yourself why you are doing and what you are feeling right in th​at moment.

Instead of continuing to shovel food into your mouth, PAUSE. There is a part of you that KNOWS what is going on, even though you may not want to admit it. Unfortunately, that part tends to fly under the radar, whereas the part of you going for the food and too much of it, is way louder.

If you start to lean into your behavior with non-judgement and curiosity, you will start to be able to tune into what is really happening that is leading you to overeat.​

​One of the biggest reasons why people overeat is because they are in a rush. Everyone is SO busy and eating can feel like one more thing we have to do. People want to rush through meals to get it done, or eat at their desks so they can keep working, but this is a surefire formula to overeat.

Every time you are going to eat a meal or a snack, find somewhere quiet to sit down and enjoy your food. Make eating an experience. ​It's common for people ​to rush through eating because they feel guilt or shame around what they are eating. I used to hide in the kitchen at night when no one was around, and shove 2-3 cupcakes down my throat as fast as I could. It was almost as if I was trying to trick myself, but that never worked.

​Slowing down while you eat will allow your body to slow down and absorb the food better. You will also be able to tune into your body's satiety signals much easier. I know that when I eat at my desk while working, I eat WAY more food than I need to. And half the time, I don't even remember I ate because I plowed through it so fast. It also happens when I watch TV and eat...bag of chips...POOF!

​When I say nourish yourself, I mean more than with food. Overeating can be a by-product of not taking care of yourself and feeling nourished on a deeper level.

When you are stressed and out and overloaded, food can feel like the quickest way to change your state and bring you some other feeling. Most people don't want to admit they feel stressed or overwhelmed, and food is easily accessible. When you eat, dopamine is released in the body, and it feels good. Especially if you are eating something sugary, gooey or crunchy. 

This release can become addictive, and that is why so many people turn to food when they are feeling stressed, ​depleted, overwhelmed, etc. So, find other ways to nourish yourself on a deeper level in your life. Find things you love, and do those, and make sure to put it in your calendar or it will never happen. This whole self-care thing is NOT a cliché, it's one of the most important things you can do for yourself in this lifetime. Trust me.

​Most of us live in our heads all day long. Our egos run the show and tell us all the things that are wrong with us, or the things we should do or shouldn't do, especially when it comes to eating.

The diet culture is SO prominent today and it's almost the norm to be on a diet. It's the first thing people turn to when they feel as though they need to lose weight or have been eating "bad."  It creates massive disconnection and mistrust of our bodies.

Your body wants to be healthy, balanced and vibrant. It's actually working really hard every day to do that, but sadly we are listening too much to what other people are telling us to eat, or the latest diet fad that is out there that we think will be the answer.  Being disconnected from our bodies is one of the biggest reasons why we overeat. We are SO in our heads all the time, we can't feel what is happening in our bodies.

Next time you eat, when you slow down (Step 2) take a deep breath and connect to your body. See how it's feeling and what it wants. Get quiet enough to listen and hear it. It is always talking to you, trust me on that. Your body doesn't want to be stuffed to the gills, it actually hates it. Your body wants to be nourished, cared for and respected. So, connect, tune in and listen. Then take your next step.

​Try these steps on for the next 7 days and see how you feel. I would love to hear your comments and insights below! 

I think most of us wish we had the Perfect Diet or the perfect way of eating that would keep us thin, fit and healthy. The problem is, there is no perfect diet, and thinking there is will likely result in consistent feelings of failure and disappointment​.

Living in black and white thinking and all-or-nothing thinking are two examples of wanting to be perfect with our eating.

If you wake up every day and vow to start over, or eat perfectly, or restrict yourself in some way, then I can guarantee you are going to be disappointed in yourself at the end of the day, or maybe by the time breakfast is over. [Yikes]

Boy oh Boy, do I remember those days. Yep, I admit it, I'm a recovering perfect eater who was in the search of The Perfect Diet. I thought having the perfect diet would be the answer to all the issues I was facing with food and my body. Little did I know that it kept me stuck in a vicious, yo-yo cycle for years.

Anytime I would get off track, or not eat "perfectly," I would consider myself a failure, and throw all my healthy eating efforts right out the window. I'd take a huge (not intentional) pendulum swing to the other side and go off the rails. Can you say cupcakes?? And shame....?

You see, there is no such thing as a perfect diet. There is no such thing as being a perfect eater. ​Th​inking that there is will set you up to feel a whole heckuva lot of frustration, disappointment, restriction and ZERO balance.

It's hard to know why we behave this way with food. Sometimes it's linked to weight loss, sometimes it's link to body image, sometimes it's linked to wanting to be healthy.

Most of the time, it's linked to needing to feel a sense of control in our lives over something.

​Make a list of all the rules you have around food. Every single one.

 Here are a few examples of ones I had:

• I can't eat carbs
• I can't eat sugar
• I can't eat after 7pm
• Cupcakes are BAD
• Candy is BAD
• I can only eat candy on the weekends
• I can NEVER eat candy
• I will only eat salads for the next 10 days
• I am giving up chips forever

​Choose one of those rules, the one that feels the easiest to let go of, and tell yourself you are going to practice letting it go for the next 5 days. Every time you catch yourself wanting to believe whatever you tell yourself about that food, say out loud, "I'm letting that go...." Observe what happens.

Food rules keep us stuck. They are loaded with judgement which is shortly followed by shame. We can never feel successful if we have a ton of food rules that we aren't able to follow.

Often when we let go of the tight reins we have on certain foods they lose their pull, meaning it's very possible we might not want it as much ​when it's no longer forbidden. You get the idea.

​Check in with your Body. 

So many of us are completely disconnected from our bodies and what they need. We get ourselves into trouble by listening to our minds, which will often not make ​the best most optimal choice.

​Before you eat, pause. Ask yourself what you are needing. Check in with your body. Connect with a deep breath. Are you even hungry? If so, what would feel good. If you aren't hungry, what are you needing? Wait for the answer, and then make the next best choice from that place.​

​Sadly we all-too-often listen to our minds ​which will usually overrule the subtle sensations of the body. Our body, at it's core, wants to be healthy and balanced, but our mind, behaviors and patterning have different ideas for us.

You can break these patterns and behaviors that have been ingrained for a long time, you have to do it in the moment, consistently by making a different choice then the one you've always made. 

By connecting to your body each time you go toward food, you will start to shift this pattern and eventually break it.

​Needing to be perfect in any sense of the word is detrimental to our self-esteem and well-being. Perfectionism keeps us stuck and disconnected from our authentic truth. It also keeps us distant from others; it creates a suit of armor around us.

​Let yourself be OK with not being perfect. Remove the judgements, cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to start living in a way that feels authentic, joyful and connected.

​Try out these 3 awesome steps and see what starts to change in your relationship with food, and yourself. Give up the need to have the Perfect Diet and see what your body chooses instead. I think you will be pleasantly surprise. And always know that you are doing your best, no matter what! 

Check out my video below to hear my Whoopie Pie Story and how I was stuck in Perfect Eating for years.

​​​Make a Commitment to Yourself + Know Your Values

​​​​Commitment is huge when it comes to your health and eating. Start by asking yourself if you are you committed to being the healthiest you can be? Are you ​more committed to your freedom than you are to eating crappy food? Are you committed to taking impeccable care of yourself? Are you committed to treating your body with respect? And, can you forgive yourself and not beat yourself up or criticize yourself when you make a so-called "bad" food choice that could send you into a spiral? 

Knowing your values, living by them and being committed to them will keep you present with what's important in your life. By connecting to and writing down your top 3 core values, and posting them where you can see them each day,  you will be reminded of what's truly important to you. I know how crappy it can feel to be out of integrity my values, and I'm sure you do to. Every time you make a choice, ask yourself if that choice is in alignment with your core values. 

​Be Intentional

Intention is super important when it comes to your health and eating. Before I head out to a party or sit down at the table to eat my meal, I check in with myself to be sure I am present and aware. Intention is powerful because it helps us to stay focused on the present, and connected to our values.

For example, before you go to a party, what is your intention? Or when it comes to eating over the holidays? ​Focus on the positive, ​and what you want to experience, versus what you DON'T want to experience.

Setting a clear, positive intention will help. It's very similar to setting goals. For example, when I go to a party where I know there will be a table full of yummy, tempting food, I set an intention to connect with at least one person, and ask them about their life/day.  This gives me another focus besides food, especially in a situation where I might be uncomfortable. 

​If I want dessert,​ I set an intention to ​stay connected to myself while ​truly savoring it and enjoying the experience without the self-criticism and judgement that usually comes along with eating dessert. This gives me a focus, and supports me in attuning to my body so I don't overeat because I am uncomfortable or the food is in front of me. Just because it's there, doesn't mean we need to eat it. ​

​Take Empowerd Action

Taking empowered action is the most important thing when it comes to how we shift our relationship to food. Because we cannot rely on willpower, we must make a choice (which is an action) in the moment. By doing this, we can feel more empowered.  ​Remember, you are the ONLY one who has a choice about what you put in your body. This is not willpower, this is choice. 

​You get to decide for yourself if you want to put ​food in your body that doesn't feel good, or overeat, drink too much, and so on. If you do, then you are choosing that. If you want to feel more empowered, take a ​different action than you normally would. For example, if you normally stand by the buffet table and nibble on all the food until you are stuffed and sick, make up a plate instead and go sit down somewhere away from the table and eat slowly. ​By doing this, you will start to make new brain grooves and shift your old behaviors over time. AND, if you do ​it consistently, ​these​ intentional actions will become new habits. 

​I know that making change can be hard, and it can feel overwhelming trying to figure out where to start. Here are some immediate actions you can take so you are more in touch with your behaviors around food, and more connected to your values.

• ​Take 10 minutes and write out your values around health. Consider these questions: What does your health mean to you? What does being healthy provide in your life? Is there anything more important to you than your health? If so, why?
• ​Write out 3 Power words that encapsulate what your health means to you. Mine are Freedom, Wealth and Joy. If I am healthy and vital, then I feel free, happy and rich. Post your power words somewhere you can see them and connect to them daily. Every time you go out to a party, or on a vacation or find yourself stuck in a rut with food, your health and your weight, focus on these 3 words and their meaning.
• Set an intention for yourself when you know you will be in situations where you normally overeat, or feel uncomfortable and use food to comfort you.
• ​Continue to repeat CIA in your head; ​Commitment, Intention and Action​. By staying connected to these words, over time you will start to notice shifts in how you show up with food. This will help to bring you long-lasting results.
• If you "mess up," forgive yourself and move on. NO ONE IS PERFECT! ​I'm pretty sure that will feel a whole lot better than telling yourself you're a failure!