June 16, 2012

A Celebration of Men!

I was inspired to write this blog from a video post my dear friend, Amber founder of BodyHeart, put up on Facebook today. It was about celebrating men. And as women how we can help men to open their hearts and feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Supporting them in their journey within to become the best version of themselves they can be.

Let’s face it, men are just as sensitive as women are. We may not always see that, or recognize it, as women are more apt to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but that doesn’t mean men don’t have feelings and aren’t sensitive and caring.

My father is no longer alive, and I had a very strained relationship with him. As a result, I have had a hard time, in the past, trusting men and trusting them to take care of my heart. Granted, I know that I am the only one who really takes care of my heart, yet when I am in relationship, this is something that I desire from a man to know how to do, and to show up in a loving and respectful way where he cherishes my heart. And on the other side of that, knowing that I am committed to showing up for him in that way too.

I have struggled most of my life with abandonment from men, and I know that also comes from an old belief that I learned from seeing my father leave all the time when the going got rough. The truth was, he was just scared. He wasn’t really leaving me, he was doing the best he knew how given the circumstances. He had a lot going on, alcoholism, gambling, violent rage, it’s no wonder he couldn’t stay…and I know now that this had nothing to do with me. In a lot of ways, he was probably protecting me by leaving. Through my experience with all of this I can now feel compassion for him and I no longer have to hold my dad or any man hostage anymore with my irrational beliefs about abandonment. It wasn’t personal, or ever is, and I get that.

When I read the beautiful blog that Mastin Kipp posted the other day on The Daily Love titled, “Here is the Key to a Woman’s Heart” it really got me thinking about Men and how most men are just as afraid to love as women are.

The bottom line is we are all human beings…we are the same in so many ways, but different in our gender and the way we handle things, and even how we communicate. Men are now becoming more in touch with their feelings and opening their hearts in ways I have never experienced before, and it is truly inspiring and beautiful! Fear is what causes most men to run from women. And I think it’s an honor to let men know they are safe with us and can be vulnerable without the fear of us hurting them or using it against them.

Being in the Spiritual Psychology program at the University Of Santa Monica, has really opened my eyes to this even more. More and more men are turning to spirituality and opening to their own vulnerability. It truly is a beautiful thing to witness and I feel so honored to see this process. And as I put myself in vulnerable situations with men, I realize that men CAN be trusted. I know this is my own filter and irrational belief that I adopted long ago and being open to seeing men in a different way has healed my life in so many ways. It has helped me to open my heart, helped me to understand men better, and be more compassionate as well as helped me to understand myself better.

What I know is that men are sweet, kind, loving, vulnerable, smart, go-getters, fixers, lovers, providers and supporters. Men are to be celebrated and celebrated a lot! Men are to be respected and honored for who they are, just as any other human being.  Men are solid, they can be leaned on and they can hold for us in ways that we may have never thought possible.

So, with Father’s Day coming up, how can you celebrate the men in your life, whether it be husband, dad, boyfriend, uncle, brother, nephew…? How can you show up for the men in your life each day that lets them know how much they mean to you and how much you celebrate them for who they are?

Men deserve to be acknowledged, prized, listened to, honored and loved with reckless abandon. So, give your dad, lover or brother a call and let him know how much he means to you and how much you honor his presence in your life!

With Love & Gratitude!

Melissa Costello

Author, Speaker, Culinary Plant-Based Nutrition & Health Empowerment Coach | Cleanse Expert

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