Monthly Archives: September 2017
Monthly Archives: September 2017
When people are trying to lose weight, they usually want it to happen quickly. The promise of a “quick-fix,” “lose x amount of pounds in x amount of days,” or “lose weight fast.” How many gimmicks do you see out there making false promises of fast weight loss, or having the body of your dreams in x amount of days, BUT ONLY if you stick to their highly-restrictive diet?
What the diet industry doesn’t tell you, is that it will be impossible to stay on that diet long-term, and you WILL gain the weight back. Over 95% of people gain weight back that they lost on a restrictive diet within 1-3 years.
One thing I know for sure: Dieting is NOT sustainable. #truthbomb
And I’m pretty sure you know it too. And yet so many people are stuck in the vicious cycle of it. We are fed a bunch of BIG. FAT. LIES. Did you know a recent study in the UK showed that an average woman will spend roughly 30 years of her life on a diet? What the…..??? It’s culturally ingrained in us; it’s become the norm. And it’s a whole lot of living that, sadly, gets wasted.
You may think because I am a Transformational Eating Coach and Nutritionist that I have my shit (excuse my Jersey potty mouth) together when it comes to food and my body. But, I am by no means perfect, nor do I want to be.
I have learned that my many years of struggles with food went deep, much deeper than the food itself. In fact, my struggles really had nothing to do with the food.
All the quick fixes, wanting to be perfect with my eating, restricting myself, living by tons of food rules, trying out the next miracle pill or hottest new diet all left me feeling like a HUGE failure and kept me locked up in my own food prison. None of these things helped me heal, or gave me relief from my food obsession.
AND, I never lost weight, or whatever little weight I did lose, I’d gain it, back plus some….I had to keep fighting with myself. It felt like a never-ending battle.
Back in those days, I couldn’t fathom ever being able to feel freedom and ease with food, or being able to maintain a weight that felt good for me. I was obsessed, controlling everything I put into my body and I felt miserable.
Most people will try to solve their food and weight issues by going on a diet, doing a cleanse, exercising more, restricting/depriving, and looking for the next “fix,” if you will. Some of these things may help, but certainly not for the long-term. And then we have to start all over again.
I know how important it is to live a healthy lifestyle, but those things I mentioned above (which by the way make my stomach turn when I think about them) will not set you up for sustainable weight loss, or healthy habits. They will only set you up for disappointment, time and time again. Aren’t you sick of that yet? I hope so….
Below I am sharing with you what WILL set you up for natural and sustainable weight loss. Now mind you, this will NOT be a quick fix. You will need to dig deeper than you ever have before, and you will need to let go of a whole lot of thoughts and beliefs around what you think you know.
When I first start working with my private clients, they always want me to give them a plan, and I won’t. That is the reason they came to me in the first place, because they are SICK of following a restrictive plan and missing out on life. They know that ultimately it doesn’t work, but it also feels scary not to have one…there is a lot of fear of getting out of control.
But the truth is, they already ARE out of control….so read on, to learn how you can get off the crazy diet roller-coaster and lose weight naturally, so you can keep it off and start living a saner life with food.
Slow Down! I know this may sound crazy to you, but slowing down when you eat will actually support your weight loss efforts. Too often people eat on the go, sitting in front of our computers, standing over the kitchen sink, or quickly before their next appointment. It’s a surefire way to eat more than your body needs, and it doesn’t allow your body to digest properly or assimilate the nutrients from your food in a beneficial way.
Eating on the run, or eating quickly causes a lot of stress in the body, and we all know stress causes weight gain. So, practice one meal a day sitting at a table without distraction and eat slowly. Taste your food, savor it, enjoy the experience. Breathe. Look around. Take in the sights and sounds. Put your fork down and chew. This will help your body to get the nourishment it needs, and it will help you attune more to your fullness signals as well. I guarantee you will feel fuller much quicker than you have in the past, and there just might be some food left on your plate too.
Eat only when you feel physical hunger. This is a big one because most of us eat quite often when we are not physically hungry, or we eat because we are afraid to feel hunger or feel empty. What this does is gives our body food when it doesn’t need it, and you know what that results in? WEIGHT GAIN!
Anytime you ingest calories when you don’t have physical hunger, your body will most likely store it as extra weight. The body doesn’t understand what to do with all this extra food that it doesn’t need. And then the quality of the food comes into play too. You CAN gain weight overeating healthy food. Believe me, I was a health food, binge eater and I put on 25 extra pounds doing it. And I understand that most people tend to overeat the foods that are not necessarily that great for them (more on that in Key 3.)
So, attune to your physical hunger. Before you eat, ask yourself if you are physically hungry. Wait for an answer. If you are craving something, and you think you need to eat, most of the time that is due to an emotional need. If that’s the case, see if there is something else you can give to yourself other than food that will feel nourishing to you. On the other hand, if you are truly physically hungry, than make a nourishing and honoring choice that you will feel good about and sit down and eat it slowly.
Lose the restriction and rules. WHAT? You’re probably thinking I am crazy right now. But the truth is, all the rules and restriction are what keep you stuck in this crazy-ass cycle with food in the first place.
I know, you’re afraid if you don’t have rules and restriction you will go hog-wild. Well, it’s possible, but my guess is, you might for a little bit (maybe once or twice,) but then those foods that you told yourself you couldn’t eat, and that you white-knuckle through to not give in to, will lose all their sparkle.
Once we give ourselves FULL permission to enjoy a food without the judgement, it loses it’s pull on us. I go way more in-depth about this in my Empowered Eating Experience 5-day Mini Course.
So for now, see about giving up ONE of your food rules. Maybe the one about not eating carbs because they are “bad,” or the one about having a cheat meal on the weekends. Those rules don’t serve you. You want to be able to build self-trust, and that is how you will be able to lose weight sustain-ably and naturally, and these steps will help you do that.
If you want to learn more about sustainable weight loss, click here to get my most popular video, 3 Keys to Sustainable Weight Loss for FREE!
Self-sabotage seems to be the #1 obstacle that most people struggle with when it comes to weight loss, consistent healthy eating and exercise.
I was recently working with a client in my Balanced Eating Breakthrough Program who expressed that no matter how many times she would go on a diet, she would end up sabotaging herself. She would start off strong, and do great for a couple of days, but then something would snap and she would go off the rails.
When I inquired deeper about what led her to “snap,” we uncovered a pattern of hiding; she had been hiding her whole life behind a mask of, “Everything is OK.”
She always pretended that she was good, and that she had it all together, no matter what was happening in her life. She didn’t want anyone to know if she was struggling or having a hard day. She felt like that would make her look weak or incompetent. So she hid behind a fake smile. And that led her to sabotage every time.
When we hide, we are being untrue to ourselves and others. We are being in-authentic and fake. No one can know the real us if we are hiding behind what I call, safety masks.
I use to be a master at hiding….
Behind being a “good” girl.
Behind Being Busy.
Behind a Fake Smile.
Behind Needing to Look and Be Perfect.
And you know what I learned?
All that hiding resulted in a tremendous amount of suffering and consistent self-sabotage. It also drove me to overeat, binge and use food as a crutch.
When we hide who we are for fear of being judged, looking stupid, being seen as a weak or whatever other god-awful judgement we have, we are disconnected from ourselves.
Being disconnected from from ourselves, is the fastest track to self-sabotage.
Trying to control everything, especially our food
People Pleasing and Over-giving
Good Girl Syndrome
These are just a few….[clickToTweet tweet=”Hiding behind masks is a way we try to keep ourselves safe in the world; which can lead to self-sabotage.” quote=”Hiding behind the masks of perfectionism, control, over-achiever, and people-pleaser is a way we try to keep ourselves safe in the world; it’s a protection mechanism which often results in burying our heads in a pint of ice cream.” theme=”style1″]
When I asked my client what would happen if people really knew the truth about her, she burst into tears. She couldn’t even fathom that anyone would like her if they saw her “not-so-nice” side, or if she really spoke her mind, or asked for what she wanted.
She thought she would be perceived as a brat, or a bit$h (you know what I mean.)
We all come into the world the same way; as a little bundle of pure, unconditional love and joy. We have no language, no belief systems, no ideas and no awareness of our ego. We are happy and present.
Over time, as we grow and learn, all kinds of things are projected on to us from the outside world, and those closest to us. Some of us grew up without loving parents, or we had parents who expected a lot from us, or there were kids in school who were mean, or teachers who didn’t believe in us.
We may have received a lot of messages of not being lovable, worthy or good enough. Whatever it was, these messages were programmed into us as a belief system during the formative years of ages 0-9, as we create our core memories.
The challenging part is that we take those belief systems with us into adulthood without any awareness of them and they usually end up running the show without even knowing it.
They show up in the form of self-sabotage, overeating, food struggles, addiction and more. We keep experiencing the same challenges over and over, and we don’t understand why.
Get brutally honest about who you want to be in the world. Ask yourself what would truly make you happy and take one step toward whatever that is for you.
When I was in the spirals of sabotage, I felt as though I would never get out. I thought I was broken and needed some serious fixing.
What I learned over the years in my healing journey, is that I wasn’t broken, I was hiding. I wasn’t being true to myself, or anyone else for that matter.
I began to take a deeper look within and ask myself some important questions about who I wanted to “be”, and how I wanted to show up in the world.
The answer that came was profound at the time, because it wasn’t about anything external, or anything I could acquire. It was all about being an example of love, authenticity, presence and inspiration for others.
Start to share your most vulnerable truths with others you trust. Let people know you are struggling. Be transparent.
We are so trained to not show vulnerability for fear of being deemed weak, and consequently we often pretend everything is o.k., even when it’s not. This can also drive us straight to the refrigerator.
So, find the person you know will hold your deepest truths in confidence and share from the heart. I guarantee you will feel a sense of freedom, and as a result self-sabotage will start to lessen.
Practice Self-Compassion and Kindness. None of us are perfect or have it all together. It’s completely impossible. Most of us have an inner critic that is relentless. That inner critic is your biggest saboteur. Start to become aware of the mean things you say to yourself, and turn them into a statement of compassion.
For example, if your inner critic keeps telling you that you are a failure because you can’t stay on track or keep weight off, then it’s time to hush that voice, and find a different thought instead that is more empowering.
When my inner-critic rears her ugly head, I hear her and literally say, “STOP,” out loud. Then I redirect that thought to a place of self-compassion and kindness, by telling myself I am OK just as I am, and I am doing the best I can.
This helps me to stay present while also stating something that is believable versus lofty. You don’t want to pendulum swing too far away from the original thought, because your inner-critic will definitely balk.
Furthermore, breaking the pattern of Self-Sabotage takes time, consistency and patience. It doesn’t happen over night.
These ingrained patterns need a lot of attention and action. You are responsible for making the change in your life and remember, you have the power to make a choice. Your inner-saboteur doesn’t have to run the show. If you practice these 3 tips regularly you will begin to feel your inner-saboteur fade into the background, little by little and you will feel more empowered each day!
If you want more incredible actions to support you in overcoming your struggles with food, then enter your email below to get my Food Freedom Guide; 7 Inspired Actions to Transform Emotional Eating and Make Peace with Food.
When it comes to dieting, diet plans or being consistent with healthy eating and exercise, most of us think that willpower is the way to stay on track, avoid temptation and keep going strong.
But here’s what most people don’t know about willpower; it doesn’t go very far and it depletes very quickly. It needs to be replenished often, so it’s not going to be a reliable source to keep you on your diet plan or on track with your eating and exercise.
In fact, I say, “Screw willpower.” (Excuse my bluntness)
Willpower is one of those things…we think if we have it and engage it, we can stay on track with our diet plan, exercise, not eating crap, whatever, but the truth is, willpower tends to be a precursor to “failing.” It doesn’t stick around long and it’s very fleeting. Stay with me here.
Yes, the dictionary does describe willpower as the ability to control yourself; strong determination that allows you to do something different. Yet, how many times have you told yourself, “I’m going to be strong and not eat the whole pint of ice cream, or half a bag of cookies, or a whole bag of chips?” Or, you start a new diet plan, you do well, lose weight and then gain it all back, and more. Or you eat healthy for a month, then you slip up once, so you throw it all out the window and you feel icky about yourself? And what happens? Willpower fails you!
Or, more accurately, your sabotaging, unaddressed behaviors fail you. You rest on the laurels of your “strength,” yet you haven’t looked at WHY you make the choices you do, what leads you to believe you need willpower and how your inner belief system is really running the show. Willpower is NOT enough OR something to rely on when it comes to food and diet plans, especially.
Most of us have values in our life, especially when it comes to being healthy. I’ve NEVER (and I don’t use that word lightly,) come across anyone who has told me they don’t care about their health. So, it’s important to know your values when it comes to your health and wellness.
Commitment is huge when it comes to your health and eating. Start by asking yourself if you are you committed to being the healthiest you can be? Are you committed to only eating good food? Are you committed to taking impeccable care of yourself? Are you committed to treating your body with respect? And, can you forgive yourself and not beat yourself up or criticize yourself when you make a so-called “bad” food choice that could send you into a spiral? Knowing your values, living by them and being committed to them will keep you present with what’s important in your life. By writing down your top 3 core values, and posting them where you can see them each day, you will be reminded of what’s truly important to you. I know how crappy it can feel to be out of integrity my values, and I’m sure you do to. Every time you make a choice, ask yourself if that choice is in alignment with your core values.
Intention is super important. What do you intend when you go to a party? Or when it comes to eating over the holidays? Focus on the positive, not the negative. Setting a clear, positive intention will help. It’s very similar to setting goals. For example, when I go to a party where I know there will be a table full of yummy, tempting food, I set an intention to connect with at least one person, and ask them about their life/day. Or I set an intention to only have a bite of dessert and know that’s enough. This gives me a focus, and guides me toward my values of CONNECTION & VITALITY, versus away from them and toward the dessert table. I really don’t want the dessert, but sometimes being uncomfortable can lead me there.
Taking Action is the most important thing here. Because remember, you are the ONLY one who has a choice about what you put in your body. This is not willpower, this is choice. There is a consequence to every choice, whether it’s “good” or “bad.” So you get to decide for yourself if you want to put bad food in your body, overeat, drink too much, and so on. Taking a contrary action, or doing something different than you normally would will start to make new brain grooves and shift your old behaviors over time. That’s why “they” say, it takes at least 32 days to break a habit. Why? Because you have to create NEW belief patterns and lessen the grip the old ones have. And this takes consistent action.
So, take 10 minutes and write out your values around health. Then make a plan that includes engaging the C.I.A. And if you forget, it doesn’t mean you failed, it means your brain is resisting change. So, keep on riding right toward your values, not away from them.
Because remember, consistency with your Commitment, Intention and Action will bring you long-lasting results. Oh yea, and forgive yourself along the way. I’m pretty sure that will feel a whole lot better than telling yourself you’re a failure!
To get more inspired actions like this, and take it even further, download my Food Freedom Guide for FREEby clicking here .
Emotional eating is something many of us do, without being aware of it. It is the number one culprit to weight gain, and can keep us stuck in a vicious cycle with food.
It can also leave us feeling like a failure when it comes to healthy eating and “staying on track.” Any time you eat without being physically hungry, it’s usually for an emotional reason. These emotional reasons could be boredom, loneliness, anger, needing comfort or soothing, or just wanting to numb out. There are many others, but these are the main triggers.
Eating during times of transition can be a big trigger for emotional eating as well. Especially when we are transitioning to the evening after dinner and life slows down and quiets down. This is a time where we want to feel comforted after a long, stressful day at work or with the kids.
And although we can have good intentions, those good intentions often turn into a whole pint of ice cream on the couch while binge-watching Netflix. Identifying if you are an emotional eater is actually simple. Ask yourself how often you eat when you are NOT physically hungry.
If it’s more than 30% of the time, then that is a pretty good indicator that you turn to food to soothe yourself.
In this video below, which I created shortly after the election when a lot of people were turning to food to cope, I share my top 2 tips on how to overcome emotional eating, and what to do in the moments when you feel like you might spiral out of control with food. I also share ways in which you can identify triggers for emotional eating.
When you find yourself going toward food and wanting to eat, especially if it’s during a transition time (after work, after dinner) STOP and ask yourself if you are physically hungry.
If the answer is YES, then make a choice that will nourish you and feel good for your body.
If the answer is NO, then take a pause and ask yourself what you are feeling. Wait for the answer before you grab food. If you are tired, bored, stressed, lonely, etc, then move on to Tip #2.
Once you can connect with what you are feeling, then you can take an alternate, nourishing action by asking yourself what you need.
What do I need right now?
If you are lonely, call a friend. If you are sad, let yourself feel your sadness. If you are bored, find something that feels fulfilling and nourishing, not numbing. If you are tired, rest or go to bed. If you feel angry, put on some upbeat music and dance it out.
The main key is to attune to your body and your emotions and see what you need. It may be hard for you to know at first, but the more you do this, the more you will be able to understand what you are feeling and what you can do to feel better in the moment.
Start to practice these 2 tips immediately and see what unfolds.
If you want to go even further and learn more ways you can overcome emotional eating, click the link below to download my Food Freedom Guide for FREE!Click here to get the guide today!